When I first heard the term “Mommy Porn” to describe erotica, my first reaction was a genuine objection to the accuracy as well as a certain obligatory offense, if reluctant. I don’t think it’s a particularly accurate term both because plenty of women who aren’t mothers read erotic romance and plus the more mainstream, published erotic romance doesn’t actually fit the definition of porn. It’s just another form of genre fiction, no big deal.
So I’ve never felt the term was particularly accurate, but even so, the term “mommy porn” is clearly intended to be offensive. The only way to really say it is with a sneer. However, I do happen to be a mother. Also, I do on occasion look at regular (actual) porn. So if someone called me a consumer of mommy porn, they’d be accurate, just not as it relates to erotic romance.
But it was only in a recent twitter convo that I finally figured out why the term doesn’t bug me as much as it should. The thing is, not that recently, smut was reserved for those persons who were slutty. Those who were deviants and perverts.
It was for predators. I remember reading an article not too long ago where it remarked that this particular erotica author does not look like a pedophile. Yes, that was intended to be complimentary. Even in the recent dust-up regarding censorship, I saw erotica authors turning on other erotica authors. I saw one who said he refused to stand up with rapists – he was referring to authors of erotica, because, of course.
So honestly, if you’re going to say that erotica is now for mothers, a very large group of people which are generally respected and treated well and also have huge buying power… I guess… great! Even if you’re going to do it with a condescending pat on the head. I’ll take it. Not even begrudgingly, but happily, I’ll take it.
To be honest, it’s hard to get offended by the term “mommy porn” – it just sounds so buzzword-y. Sure, the book(s) that spawned the term might be encouraging this large segment of the population to read more erotica, but it seems rather transient. We want to think that movements like this and Oprah’s Book Club will translate into big bucks and long overdue respect, and while there might be some stickiness with a few converted mommies adding other erotica authors to their to buy list, I’m not sure it’ll last. What we will see are a lot of FSoG knock offs that try to capture that exact dynamic, and if it shines a light on the dirty little secret that’s erotica, then yay. I’m a tad skeptical about the long-term effects, though. (Can you tell?)
Yes, I see people getting up-in-arms about it and I feel a little left out. Hey, I like a good cause! But yes, for this, I see it having a positive effect or none at all. I do actually think it will help in the short term (as I actually believe our accepted literature is more prudish than at other points during history) but these things are cyclical.
I’ve lost track of the amount of people who’ve asked me about FSoG, but not one person has used the term Mommy Porn. Maybe that’s because we’re Canadian, and for the most part, too polite to say the word Porn out loud.
Regardless, the term Mommy Porn doesn’t bug me. Call it whatever you like–porn, erotica, erotic romance, smut, etc. Whatever people want to call it, it’s selling books for ALL of us, so I’m for it.
I’ve never hidden the fact that I write explicitly sexy books, or that I gobble them up faster than warm chocolate chip cookies. I watch porn and I’m not ashamed of that either. I’m a mom and wife and I *gasp* enjoy sex. So I’m not offended by any term that empowers women to enjoy their sexuality more fully and openly. That’s just silly.
Great post, Amber!