Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA lately. I’ve been working on a super special secret project (two of them!) which I will spill the beans on soon enough.
I wanted to write a short post on something I’ve been thinking about. There’s this great quote in Kitty Thomas’ The Auction:
“When you really thought about it crying was a rather bizarre thing for any creature to be capable of. What purpose did it serve other than revealing too much?”
Which is amazing and true, except it’s not. In that story, the hero is a sadistic, Domly alien creature who likes to lick her tears because, ya know, it’s a Kitty Thomas book.
I think tears serve the purpose of mercy. They cause the people who see the tears to stop and say what’s wrong? and can I get you anything? and oh, all right, you can stay up five more minutes! And mercy seems like a pretty valuable commodity, evolution-wise.
Who can cry? Mostly women and children. Those that are physically weaker and rely on the strength of others for protection and hunting have the ability to generate mercy and goodwill in said strong person.
I think that’s why we also see romance heroes who so often are affected by tears, like the traditional alpha male who can bear any torture but the sight of a woman in tears. Even the uber-controlled Dom is affected by them, if only because he wants to draw them out.
So I don’t know. It’s a beautiful line, regardless, but I think crying might show exactly the right amount. Like if you try to hold it in, your body is preprogrammed to level it out. A built-in emotion balancing system.
What do you think? Are you one of those people who never cries? Do you seek out things that make you cry, like emotional movies or sad books?
*I say* I don’t seek out movies, in particular, that make me cry but then I contradict myself completely by watching An Affair to Remember every freaking time it’s on TV. It’s almost like I’m challenging myself not to cry but as soon as Cary Grant walks into Deborah Kerr’s bedroom and realizes she’s hiding that she’s been in a wheel chair for the last six months and that’s why she couldn’t meet him atop the Empire State building…well, I just lose it. Part of it is that it’s crazy to me how a funny, charming, banter-y guy like CG can demonstrate the acting chops to pull that off. The look on his face at that moment breaks my heart (Jesus, I’m getting weepy just describing it). Once, I made this strangled sobbing sound when I was watching it and my husband thought I was ill. I was trying to hold it in, whether because I had a witness, or I was just embarrassed which is stupid because it makes me feel good to see all that pain. Whatevs. Best crying movie ever. Even with the weird tap-dancing children.
Oh my gosh, I love/hate that scene. Yes, it’s so emotional! It’s a great scene, but I hate how it makes me all fidgety and flustery. And yes, teary. *sniffs*
Yeah, sometimes I scream at the TV: it’s Christmas, just tell him, don’t make him figure it out! But then he does and she says something about how if he can paint, she can walk again . Roll credits. Pick your bruised heart off the floor.
Love this post, and the photo is beautiful. I apparently really need to see An Affair to Remember, even though I’d love to claim I don’t seek out situations that make me cry. Lately I feel like I am able to embrace crying more, as catharsis or just an expression of strong feeling, both positive and negative. I think romance deserves some credit for this more positive take on tears. Having to dig deeper for my chars has made me less afraid to just go there (and come back!!) Myself
Oh yes, that movie is one of the few that is just like a romance novel
I agree. Tears can be very powerful when employed correctly.